March 19, 2018
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go
O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.
O Light that followest all my way, I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
my heart restores its borrowed ray, that in thy sunshine’s blaze its day may brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain and feel the promise is not vain that morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead, and from the ground there blossoms red—Life that shall endless be.
Text: George Matheson 1841-1906
When this year’s devotional topic was announced, I had no problem requesting a hymn about which to write. There are many hymns I like (and a few that I do not care for), but O Love That Will Not Let Me Go has been my favorite for a very long time. I do not remember when I learned this hymn, but its words often have been a source of comfort and strength for me.
I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my life. Sometimes events spark a period of depression. For example, two years ago when my close friend Shirley King died unexpectedly, I went through a very dark period. At times like that, the words of the third verse remind me that God does not leave me. God searches for me in my darkness to comfort me and bring me back to the light. I am promised that the pain will decrease and the tears will slow.
Other times there is not a precipitating event that brings on the despair; the hopelessness just surrounds me for no apparent reason. The first verse is the one that speaks to me then. I need not fear that God will leave me. I can know that, even if (when) I have another episode, God will help me overcome it. Even when I do not feel loveable or worthwhile, this hymn reminds me that I am loved. I need not worry about human approval or opinion.
It is not only the words of this hymn that make it so special to me. This hymn was written by George Matheson while he was losing his vision, which is one of my fears. I have had poor eyesight all my life and do not want to go blind. But if this man could come up with these inspiring words as he lost his sight, there is evidence that God provides alternatives. I will be able to be useful to the world and will have something to offer even if I cannot see to play the bells or grade papers or do research.
Though I had no trouble picking out a hymn, it has been hard to make myself actually write this devotional. Now there is more openness about depression and other mental health issues than when I was a teenager, which is when I had the first really bad bout that I remember. At that time, I would not have felt able to write about what this hymn means to me. It has been harder to do now than I thought it would be, but I am glad that overall society is more tolerant and open to discussion about these types of problems. I think God’s light is making my days brighter through this change, and I hope this cultural shift is helping others as well. Perhaps my words also will comfort someone. I know past devotionals have benefitted me; that is the primary reason I have started to participate in this mission.
Twyla Hill
Page 207, Then Sings My Soul by Robert J. Morgan, 2003, Thomas Nelson, Inc.: Nashville, TN.
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